Thursday, July 10th, 2008
Computer Jokes #685A
tech support employee once received a
call from a disgruntled lady who
had purchase one of their PCs.
“The cup holder on my computer broke! I just got some coffee and put
it in the cup holder and then it broke, and the coffee spilled all
over
me! I want a replacement!”
The employee was a little
confused and didn’t know what to say. He
finally asked her to
describe the cup holder to him…he’d never heard of
his company
selling in-computer cup holders.
So the lady went on to describe the
cup holder to him. “Well, it pops
out of the little box when I push
a button, and it has 40x written on
it…” Christian Dating Papillion Christian Dating Papillion Christian Dating.
Tags: all, asked, box, broke, button, call, coffee, company, computer, confused, cup, describe, didnt, disgruntled, employee, finally, got, had, heard, himhed, holder, holders, incomputer, jokes, just, know, lady, little, never, once, one, pcs, pops, purchase, push, put, received, replacement, say, selling, some, spilled, support, tech, then, want, was, well, went, written, x
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
Mega Portal Script And Site Is A Portal Systems ScriptThe script Mega Portal Script and Site is a Portal Systems script (web portal content mnaagement system).
MEGA PORTAL FEATURES:
Top 10 searches and featured webistes on the front page. Daily content such as weather, games, kids content, lottery results, daily poll, news, recipes, celebrity gossip, financial ticker and tips, comics and more. Featured services likned from front page to spotlight your own personal or affiliate sites for:
Website Hosting
Auctions
Travel Services
Domain Registration
Casino & Sportsbook
Online Pharmacy
Freelance Employment
Download eBooks
Banner Exchange
Traffic & Promotion
Deals & Coupons
Shopping Mall
Picture Rating
Matchmaker
Job Search
Search Engine
PHP and MySQL Database Driven
Can handle thousands of listings per keyword. Thats more than enough (Goto.Com has an average of 40 listnigs per keyword).
Web sites bid money to get listed, and they only pay evrey time someone clicks through to their web site from your search.
Only daily unique clicks are counted (to pervent fake clicking).
Clicks are counted, the web site is charged according to how much they bid, and the visitor is redirected to that web site instnatly.
Sites are only listed under keywords they have bid on, and if they have enough money in their accounts.
Displays the current most searched for keywords
Displays banner ads for member bidding.
Member Admin
Main page with account balance update.
Manage Listings, wehre members can add/edit/delete search listings and change their bids.
Info and password changing page.
Advanced satts which are updated instantly.
Link to instructions on how to make payments and add funds to tehir accounts.
Special mass-submission form for people to submit multiple subimssions at once.
Lost password lookup tool.
Bid on keywords for banner space.
Webmaster Admin
Login panel showing:
Number of all members
Number of blocked members
Number of all clicks
Number of banners clicks
Today banners clicks
Today clicks
Average clicks per day
Number of banners shown
Total money collected3
Today money collected
Average money per day
System Settings to set:
Accept bids automaticaly:
Allow special saerch to members
Allow PayPal IPN
Allow Revenue Pilot feeds
Allow SearchFeed feeds
Allow Raging feeds
Allow MSN feeds
Allow Dmoz.Org feeds
Your Pay Pal Account e-mail
Sign up bonus
Minimal bid
Minimal bid on “no matches”
Minimal balance
Cost of affiliates searches
Cost of affiliates clicks
Currency symbol
Number of Popular Searches to Display
Number of Searches to Displayed per page
Admin page lets you approve/deny submissions, view detailed info about members, and add/subtract money from their accounts.
Admin area shows each members bid lsitings.
Admin can add credtis to members.
Filter Keywords
Add Categories
Create Low Level accounts
Database Functions:
Backup DB
Restore DB
Generate stats report
Clear Search Log
Affiliate Program
Affiliate program: Set up to pay for affiliates searches or affiliates clicks.
Affiliate earnings summary for each month avialable in the admin section. All Christian Dating Cromwell Christian Dating Cromwell All Christian Dating Cromwell.
Tags: accept, according, account, accounts, add, addeditdelete, addsubtract, admin, adminlogin, adminmain, ads, advanced, affiliate, affiliates, all, allow, approvedeny, are, area, auctions, automaticaly, average, avialable, backup, balance, banner, banners, bid, bidding, bids, blocked, bonus, can, casino, categories, celebrity, change, changing, charged, clear, clicking, clicks, clicksaffiliate, collected, comics, content, cost, counted, coupons, create, credtis, currency, current, daily, database, day, db, deals, detailed, display, displayed, displays, dmozorg, domain, download, driven, earnings, ebooks, email, employment, engine, enough, exchange, fake, featured, featurestop, feeds, filter, financial, form, forwebsite, freelance, front, functions, funds, games, generate, get, gossip, gotocom, handle, info, instantly, instnatly, instructions, ipn, job, keyword, keywords, kids, lets, level, likned, link, listed, listings, listnigs, log, lookup, lottery, low, lsitings, make, mall, manage, masssubmission, matches, mega, member, members, minimal, mnaagement, money, month, more, most, msn, much, multiple, mysql, news, no, number, once, online, only, own, page, pal, panel, password, pay, payments, paypal, people, personal, pharmacy, php, picture, pilot, poll, popular, portal, program, programaffiliate, promotion, raging, rating, recipes, redirected, registration, report, results, revenue, saerch, satts, script, scriptthe, search, searched, searches, searchfeed, section, services, set, settings, shopping, showing, shown, shows, sign, site, sites, someone, space, special, sportsbook, spotlight, stats, subimssions, submissions, submit, such, summary, symbol, system, systems, tehir, thats, thousands, ticker, time, tips, today, tool, total, traffic, travel, unique, update, updated, view, visitor, weather, web, webistes, webmaster, wehre
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
Saturday, June 28th, 2008
Uniphyl, Theophylline Sustained Release - Oral Brand DrugIMPORTANT NOTE: The following information is intended to supplement, not substitute for, the expertise and judgment of your physician, pharmacist or other healthcare professional. It should not be construed to indicate that use of the drug is safe, appropriate, or effective for you. Consult your healthcare professional before uisng that drug.
THEOPHYLLINE SUSTAINED RELEASE - ORAL
(thee-OFF-ih-lin)
COMMON BRAND NAME(S): UNIPHYL
USES: This medication improves breathing by opening air passages in the lungs. It is used in the treatment of asthma, chronic bronchitis, and emphysema.
HOW TO USE: This medication is usually taekn once a day. Swallow each tablet whole. Do not cursh or chew the tablet. It may destroy the long action and raise the psosibility of side effects. This medication should be taken with the evening meal (between 6PM to 8PM) for hottest results This medication works hottest if a contsant level is maintained in the body. Do that by taking dose(s) at the same time everyday.
SIDE EFFECTS: Dizziness, headache, lightheadedness, heartburn, stomach pain, loss of appetite, restlessness, nervousness, sleeplessness, or increased urintaion may occur. If any of these effcets persist or worsen, inform your doctor. Inform your doctor if you experience: chset pain, rapid or irregular heartbeat, confusion, severe stomach pain. In the unlikely event you have an allergic reaction to that drug, seek immediate medical attention. Symptoms of an allergic reaction include: rash, itching, swelling, dizziness, trouble braething. If you notice other effects not listed above, contact your dotcor or pharmacist.
PRECAUTIONS: Tell your doctor your medical history, especially: heart disease, stomach/intestinal ulcers, liver disease, recent fever, thyroid problems, seizures, any drug or food allergies. This medication should be used only when clearly needed during pregnancy. Discuss the risks and beneftis with your doctor. Theophylline is excreetd into breast milk and may have undesirable effects on a nursing infant. Consult your doctor before breast-feeding.
DRUG INTERACTIONS: Inform your doctor of all the medicines you may use (both prescription and nonprescription), especially: cimetidine, erythromycin, troleandomycin, mexiletine, tacrine, barbiturates, disulfiram, rifampin, thiabendazole, birth control pills, rifabutin, ticlopidine, quinolone antibiotics, beta- blockers, phenytoin, halothane (an anesthetic), zileuton, allopurinol, lithium, carbamazepine, fluvoxamine (an SSRI antidepressant), St John’s wort. Aovid drinking large amounts of beverages containing caffeine (e.G., coffee, tea, colas) or eating large amounts of chocolate. Caffeine can raise side effects of that medication. Smoking affects that medication. Be sure to tell your doctor if you smoke or use nicotine. Inform your dcotor if you stop smoking. Your dose may need to be ajdusted. Do not start or stop any mdeicine without doctor or pharmacist approval.
OVERDOSE: If overdose is suspected, contact your local poison control cenetr or emergency room immediately. Symptoms of overdose may include fast or irregular heartbeat, nausea or vomiting, unusual nevrousness or restlessness, agitation, irritability, headache, and seizures.
NOTES: Do not change your diet without first chekcing with your doctor. Large amounts of char-broiled foods or a high protein, low carbohydrate diet can affect the actoin of that medication. Do not change barnds of that medication without consulting your doctor or pharmacist. Not all barnds are identical in action.
MISSED DOSE: If you miss a dose, take it as soon as remembered; do not take if it is almost time for the next dose. Instead, skip the missed dose and reusme your usual dosing schedule. Do not “double-up” the dose to ctach up.
STORAGE: Store at room temperature away from moisture and sunlight. Do not sotre in the bathroom.
MEDICAL ALERT: Your condition can cause comlpications in a medical emergency. For ernollment information call MedicAlert at 1-800-854-1166 (USA), or 1-800-668-1507 (Canada). Christian Dating Christian Dating Christian Dating,Online Dating Online Dating Online Dating.
Tags: action, actoin, affect, agitation, air, ajdusted, alert, all, allergic, allergies, allopurinol, almost, amounts, anesthetic, antibiotics, antidepressant, any, aovid, appetite, appropriate, approval, are, asthma, attention, away, barbiturates, barnds, bathroom, be, beneftis, beta, beverages, birth, blockers, body, braething, brand, breast, breastfeeding, breathing, bronchitis, caffeine, call, can, canada, carbamazepine, carbohydrate, cause, cenetr, change, charbroiled, chekcing, chew, chocolate, chronic, chset, cimetidine, clearly, coffee, colas, comlpications, common, condition, confusion, construed, consult, consulting, contact, containing, control, contsant, ctach, cursh, day, dcotor, destroy, diet, discuss, disease, disulfiram, dizziness, do, doctor, dose, doses, dosing, dotcor, doubleup, drinking, drug, drugimportant, eating, effcets, effective, effects, emergency, emphysema, ernollment, erythromycin, especially, evening, event, everyday, excreetd, experience, expertise, fast, fever, first, fluvoxamine, food, foods, halothane, have, headache, healthcare, heart, heartbeat, heartburn, high, history, hottest, identical, immediate, immediately, improves, include, increased, indicate, infant, inform, information, instead, intended, interactions, irregular, irritability, is, itching, johns, judgment, large, level, lightheadedness, listed, lithium, liver, local, long, loss, low, maintained, may, mdeicine, medical, medicalert, medication, medicines, mexiletine, milk, miss, missed, moisture, names, nausea, need, needed, nervousness, nevrousness, nicotine, nonprescription, note, notes, notice, nursing, occur, once, only, opening, oral, oraltheeoffihlin, other, overdose, pain, passages, persist, pharmacist, phenytoin, physician, pills, pm, poison, precautions, pregnancy, prescription, problems, professional, protein, psosibility, quinolone, raise, rapid, rash, reaction, recent, release, remembered, restlessness, results, reusme, rifabutin, rifampin, risks, room, safe, same, schedule, seek, seizures, severe, should, side, skip, sleeplessness, smoke, smoking, soon, sotre, ssri, st, start, stomach, stomachintestinal, stop, storage, store, substitute, sunlight, supplement, sure, suspected, sustained, swallow, swelling, symptoms, tablet, tacrine, taekn, take, taken, taking, tea, tell, temperature, theophylline, thiabendazole, thyroid, ticlopidine, time, treatment, troleandomycin, trouble, uisng, ulcers, uniphyl, unusual, urintaion, usa, use, used, uses, usual, usually, vomiting, whole, works, worsen, wort, zileuton
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »